3 Ways to Know if You’ve Walked Off the Path of The Blessing

Life isn’t always peaches and cream.  

Life can unexpectedly serve up steamed green beans.  

In my life, I’ve found these 3 ways to be the most common ways I end up finding myself on a path that I didn’t plan on walking. 

Obviously, sin is the #1 answer, but I wanted to get a little bit more personal, so here we go!

1) Relationships.  I’ve chosen friends in my past, that are controlling and I end up becoming the friend that feels the need to make her happy to keep our friendship.  I’ve been a people pleaser.  After the fun of the new friendship wears off, and without healthy boundaries in place, I am resentful of that friend.  This relationship can also be dating relationships and marriages.  -Yikes! I know I’m speaking to someone out there who knows exactly what I mean. 

2) Misuse of Finances.  In years prior, I’ve wanted to fit in so badly with the community that surrounds me that I’ve racked up quite a credit card debt.  I didn’t honor God with the money that he’s blessed me with and I didn’t honor my husband.  I’ve been sneaky.  That path led to regret and mistrust between my husband and me.

3) Following Leaders Who Don’t Lead.  My husband and I have sat under the authority of leaders who don’t lead us deeper into the things of God.  We’ve innocently placed ourselves under such leadership with illusions of grandeur and false expectations.  When the promises fall flat, you see behind the curtain, and you realize it’s never going to happen.  This path is loaded with disappointment and unforgiveness.  This leader can also be a leader at work and in the home, such as your husband. -again, yikes! 

The good news is there is a way to get back onto the Path of the Blessing. -and when I say “the” I’m referring to God’s path for your life. 

If you want to know more, you can find my book, “Path of the Blessing: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob” on Amazon

Loyalty

Our Wedding Cake from 1993

Does a Bride long for her wedding day, when she will at last be united with her groom to spend the rest of her days in his company?  Or does she wait out her engagement out of obligation and duty, despising the length of time she will have to spend with her groom once the vows have been taken?

Loyalty and obligation are two very different words, but it seems like we tend to get those two confused when it comes to commitment.  When you get down to the root of those words, you have loyal and obligate. 

Here is how the dictionary defines them:

loyal |ˈloiəl|

adjective

giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution

obligate

verb |ˈäbliˌgāt|

1 bind or compel (someone), esp. legally or morally

2 [ with obj. ] commit (assets) as security

adjective |ˈäbligit| [ attrib. ] Biology

restricted to a particular function or mode of life

I’ve highlighted the words to show how contrasting those words really are.  Loyalty is birthed out of love for another and obligation is birthed out of duty.

Luke 5:34 and John 3:29 speaks of how Jesus is the bridegroom and we as his followers are his bride.  Therefore since we are the bride awaiting our groom, then we need to ask ourselves, “Am I waiting in joyful expectation to be united with Christ to spend all eternity with him?” or “Am I following Christ out of a verbal commitment to gain a heavenly security while living a life of religious duty?”

As I read the book of Ruth I saw the love of the bride and the bridegroom demonstrated towards one another.  How broken our world is when we rarely see the love of God in marriage vows.  The vows that are meant to demonstrate loyalty (giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person) are so easily broken and discarded.  It’s no wonder that so many believers in Christ are experiencing a dead, religious type of relationship while committed or “engaged” to the bridegroom.  The earthly model of the love between the bride and the bridegroom has been shattered giving the impression of a hopeless and dull future bound by vows spoken to gain security.

This is not what God desires for us.  In the book of Ruth, Ruth has been living with her mother-in-law after the death of her husband and has been working daily in the fields of an older man who could redeem her from her current life by marrying her.  She then, in Ruth 3:9, seeks him out and quietly lays at his feet.  When he notices her, she asks him to “spread his garment over her” so as to symbolize marriage. He is so blessed by her kindness towards him, as he is much older than her and she could have chosen another man much younger than he. In the end, they do wed and Ruth goes from a worker in the fields to the owner of the fields, living an abundant life.

Ruth, the bride, chose to commit to her groom out of love, not obligation and her groom, although he was lawfully obligated to wed Ruth, gave the opportunity to another out of love for her, but in the end she was rejected and so her groom, her redeemer, wed her.

Loyalty is a commitment birthed from love.  Is that the kind of relationship you are experiencing with Jesus right now?  Do you look forward to reading your Bible, praying, and talking to God or is it an obligation?  If you find yourself following Jesus out of religious duty and obligation because you “prayed a prayer” of salvation once for the hope of security, then you are in relationship with the bridegroom for the wrong reasons.  No wonder your time of “engagement” is so dry and boring! 

Recommit yourself to Jesus out of love for Him and watch what he will do.  Just like Ruth, you will go from a life of struggling to a life abundant full of joy for the coming groom.

Marriage, HELP! Part Two: Husbands

In Part One: Wives, we looked at what the Bible says we as wives should look like in relationship with our husbands.  That we are to submit to them in EVERYTHING and what this means is having an attitude of voluntarily giving in to the leading of our husbands and cooperating with them. Ultimately we are showing respect or reverence towards God when we do this.

Now what about our husbands?  Do they get to rule and reign over us like kings and us their domestic slaves?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  The Bible is clear as to how our husbands are to relate to us as well, and all of these guidelines are to bring about a marriage of unity that brings glory to God.  So let’s take a look…

Here’s what the Bible says:

Ephesians 5:25-29  

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— (NIV)

Then in Colossians 3:19

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (NIV)

Finally in 1 Peter 3:7

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.  (NIV)

Here is the same passage in a more contemporary language found in the Message Bible-

7The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground. (Message Bible)

Our husbands have a greater responsibility within our marriage.  They are to love us the way Jesus loves the church.  When was the last time you’ve seen God wrathful towards his believers?  Or when was the last time you’ve seen God belittling his followers?  How about when Jesus walked this earth?  -The answer is never.  Jesus came to serve, love and give His life up for His people.  This is the example that our husbands are to follow.  This is how our husbands are to love their wives.

I’ve been married for almost 19 years and my husband and I have known many married couples through those years.  Sadly, several have ended in divorce and two of the most common threads are lack of respect and the lack of feeling loved. Isn’t it interesting that most men will say that one of the most important things in their marriage that they could ask for is the respect of their wives and one of the most important things that women ask for in a marriage is to feel loved? Obviously this is why God gave us these guidelines to follow to keep our marriages healthy.

If you are reading this and you are the wife to your husband, then take my challenge from Part One: Wives. 

If you are reading this and you are a husband to your wife, then I challenge you to follow God’s Word and love your wife the way Christ loves the church.

God’s Word is not void based off of your situation.  His Word is truth.  It’s up to us to apply it to our lives for it to work in our lives.  So even if you have a rebellious wife that refuses to show you respect start praying for her and loving her and watch what happens.